taking hold of Emmanuel

writing is hard these days.  my hands are full.  my brain is crowded.

jaybird family pictures, 2018

Recently my amazing sister took new family pictures and I've just been bursting to share the sweetness!!!  I'm still blown away by the gifts these three people are in my life... and seeing us captured like this is so priceless.

haven rose, five months

autumn favorites (so far) ~ 2018

-  handmade hats on babies.  the warm, snugly is strong!

-  hot soups and baguettes.  i'll admit to buying two huge baguettes after trying a sample at costco.  i have no regrets.

-  perfectly falling leaves.  i snapped the above picture after this gorgeous leaf fell into haven's lap.  autumn loves me.

haven rose... four months (late again!)

Another month has flown away and I am once again late in sharing updated pictures of Haven.  She turned four months on the 20th and has changed SO much in the last few weeks.  She is so alert, naps less often, babbles and laughs constantly, wears 9-12 month clothing, weighs over 19 pounds, has cut two teeth as of this week, and continues to steal our hearts with her sweetness.  She has earned the nickname "puppy" (general cuteness, plus all of her drooling, growling, and biting!).

haven rose, three months (a week late, ooops!)

Well, at least I took her pictures on the right day.  Honestly, blogging has been a struggle for me this last year or so.  I've had to search my heart as to why I choose to write here and if it still something I want to do.  Getting a post up is time-consuming and I haven't had feedback in a long time (unlike when I started this blog many moons ago).  So if I'm gonna blog for the sake of followers, I should probably quit.  ;-)  But honestly, just writing out my thoughts, struggles, and these updates on my life (and my daughters' lives) as a journal of sorts is priceless to look back upon.  If this crazy blog still exists as my girls grow up, they won't see a popular mama, but maybe because of it they will get to know "young mama me" better and how God has loved me through all of the insanity.  So, I persevere.  <3

just as i am

1. Just as I am, without one plea,
   But that Thy blood was shed for me,
   And that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
   O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
2. Just as I am, and waiting not
   To rid my soul of one dark blot,
   To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot,
   O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

renniebird... three years

My precious Renniebird turned three yesterday.  We celebrated her over this last weekend as well as the evening of her actual birthday.  She is definitely loved by many sweet people, which makes my mama's heart so glad.

I set some time aside to take some pictures of her as well as do a small "interview".  I hope to do this every year with her and look forward to seeing how her answers change and develop in the future.

haven rose, two months

It is so crazy that this sweet, chunkalicious girl turned two months old yesterday!!!  Honestly, the time hasn't flown quite as fast as you'd think (with some health issues I've been having plus how bad my anxiety can be, some days are loooooooong), but Haven continues to be such a joy and comfort amidst the crazy. 

july favorites

haven rose, one month

full to overflowing

Nearly three weeks ago, our precious Haven Rose made her whirlwind arrival into our lives.  After a short but intense labor (less than two hours), our second daughter was placed in my arms.  Our hearts are bursting with love for this sweet new child as we learn her and bond.  All is going relatively smoothly so far as we adjust to being a family of four.  Rennie completely adores her little sister.  I will definitely be sharing more of this chapter of life soon, but things are quite a bit busier these days so blogging hasn't been a priority.  My recovery is going pretty smoothly so far (only a few tiny hiccups along the way).  Thank you all so much for praying throughout my pregnancy.  We definitely covet continued prayers as we raise our precious daughters.  <3  So, till I can find some time for a better life update, here are pictures to tide you all over!  :-D  Many blessings!

bedroom for three (soon four!)

Many people seem surprised by the fact that Rennie still room-shares with Andrew and me.  For us, several factors have made this the best option.  First, we really don't mind and enjoy having her close by at night.  Second, the only other bedroom in our house is up a flight of hard, wooden stairs.  Third, she definitely isn't ready emotionally to be *that* far from us.  If our bedroom setup was different, we might do things differently, but honestly I'm not sure.  This has worked excellently for our family so far and we hope to keep Rennie with us even after Haven arrives.

Featured in this picture: an amazing pregnancy pillow my sister has let me borrow.  Seriously, it has been a lifesaver!

Our bedroom is 9x13, so you'd think things would be insane.  Really though, it isn't.  Our small closet holds all of Andrew's and my hanging clothes, plus baby blankets and shoes.  All of his and my folded clothes fit in our wardrobe quite easily.  Rennie and Haven each have their own dressers (Rennie's is by her bed and Haven's is by the door).  All of the girls' hanging clothes are in a small closet right across from our bedroom.

We've tried to be clever with our storage in this room... hence the wall-mounted jewelry box and cute basket on the other dresser to hold diapers and such.  As I've mentioned before, we also opted for a bedframe that sits higher and doesn't need a boxspring.  TONS of extra storage under our bed (yes, it's king-size)!  Plus we also have a laundry hamper hanging on the back of our door.

One addition to our bedroom since I last shared pictures is Rennie's toddler bed.  My parents were still holding onto one and are generously letting us use it.  Since our plan is to either co-sleep with Haven or at least leave that option open, we felt the safest choice was to transition Rennie into a sleeping space of her own (this happened very early during pregnancy).  After the first couple nights (which took some head-rubbing, singing, and hand-holding) she adjusted wonderfully.  <3


Another update has been this gorgeous botanical bedspread I found on amazon.  Because our bedroom is small, I like to keep things light and airy to maximize space.  I'm utterly in love with the look of our room right now.  *happy sigh*

What style and size is your bedroom space?  What colors do you like?  My favorites are definitely light grays and nature-inspired hues.  Do you prefer pictures and decor everywhere or a minimal look with touches of cozy?


Many blessings, my friends!


<3

home stretch

Yesterday was one month till my due date.  OH MY HEAD.  The days have dragged but the months have flown.  Funny how that works.  Tomorrow I start my weekly midwife appointments till Haven Rose's arrival.  I'm so ready, honestly.  If I thought my physical/emotional issues during Rennie's pregnancy were difficult, this time around has made the past feel like a walk in the park. 

maternity pictures and six years married!

Recently, my lovely sister, Natalie, traipsed around a local park with us capturing beautiful family moments as we celebrate adding another sweet baby to our tribe.  So, get ready for a picture OVERLOAD (not joking), since I had a really hard time whittling down which ones to share.  :-)

the blimp is back (and other little happenings)

Well friends, May is off to a flying start with crazy weather changes and a calendar full of birthdays and anniversaries.  The days can seem long, but the weeks are flying (this seems to be the new norm).  My sweet man turns twenty-eight in less than a week and next Saturday is our sixth anniversary!  I can't believe it, yet I can... it feels like we've been together forever, so six years can sometimes seem too short a time since we said "I do".  ;-)  I'm so incredibly thankful for the ever-growing relationship we've been given and can't wait to see what the coming years hold!

thoughts from instagram

"A changing body is not a ruined body."

letting go and embracing

april blooms... maternity outfit post

simple tips for the new mama

I love being a mommy.  It is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it is so worthwhile.  One of the most overwhelming times for me was the first few weeks after Serenity's birth.  Being a new mom, learning my baby, figuring out nursing, plus healing from delivery (all while extremely sleep-deprived) was an incredible challenge.  I was recently asked if I have any tips for new moms and, while I'm sure this is nothing revolutionary, I've definitely learned a lot (through both bad and good experiences) from my early days with Rennie.  With how overwhelming to-do lists can be, I'm hoping to keep this as easy and practical as possible for my fellow mommies. ❤️

april favorites

~  my daughter's windblown hair.  it smells like sunshine.

~ tiny children in rainboots.

~ warm breezes.  it doesn't entirely feel like spring yet, but maybe we're getting close?!

entering (i mean, halfway through) march... maternity outfit post

sunny smiles... maternity outfit post

Baby HR Gender Reveal!

before and after the ultrasound!

One week ago, Andrew and I traveled through fog and rain to find out how our baby was doing and also to discover HR's gender!  Because our midwife lives two hours away and I also had a regular checkup along with a chiropractic appointment, it turned into an all-day affair.  What a fun time  for just the two of us to see and celebrate our new child!

instagram...

Once upon a time, a twenty year old bought this tunic a week after finding out she was pregnant with her first child. It was the dead of steaming hot summer, but she knew it would be perfect for the cold months when her bump would be very visible. One week later she gave up her baby to heaven.


About two years later she would have worn this top with her second pregnancy more often, but the timing just wasn't right seasonally. She welcomed her rainbow baby and prayed for at least one more child.


Two years later, she threw on this tunic for church, caught her reflection which showed the story of yet another life beginning and she cried. She cried because she will never not miss her first child. She cried because her two year old is perfectly, blissfully sleeping behind her. She cried for thankfulness as her hand instinctively touched her growing middle. She cried for the pain and beauty of her journey so far. She cried because God is gracious and answers prayer from the deepest corners of the heart.


<3

halfway to holding you...

Dear HR,

Today I'm halfway to meeting you! And, as if to mark the occasion, you kicked my hand for the first time today!  It startled me and made me so excited.  I love you so much!!!   Just one more week till I can call you by name.  <3

~ journal exerpt

little life update

Happy 2018, my friends!!!  What a year 2017 was and the next twelve months are already filled with so much adventure for our growing family (the biggest change being the fact that our family is, indeed, growing!).