Showing posts with label worship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worship. Show all posts

Sunday, February 14, 2021

striving




 "I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind." Ecc. 1:14

As I'm reading through Ecclesiastes I am struck over and over by the hopelessness found in the shallow things of life. Even the "good" things... work, accomplishments, relationships, health, etc... they still amount to nothing in and of themselves. Even worse, they cause us to see each other as competition instead of companions.
"I have seen that every labor and every skill which is done is the result of rivalry between a man and his neighbor. This too is vanity and striving after wind." Ecc 4:4
I've spent so much of my life (and brain-space) worrying how I measure up, how people perceive me. Am I valuable in their eyes? Respected? Loved? I've battled insecurities, physical and mental, only to then *strive* to fix myself. Just to be seen, to find value and purpose.
We all do this. We obsess over our weight, our income, our appearance, our possessions, our status, our accomplishments. It's all striving and it's all about us.
"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of God." Gal. 1:10
This striving. This competition. This pointless value of the temporary. It is holding us (me) back. It keeps us from deep relationships (how can you truly love someone you mentally are competing with or comparing yourself to?). It keeps us from being vulnerable. It steals our time and our rest. It makes us worry when we could be thriving. Worst of all, it keeps us from God.
It isn't enough to say "I'm body positive" or "I'm secure" or "I know those things don't really matter" or "I love you for who you are". Even those well-meaning words fall flat when the fears rear their head, when the obsessions flare up, when the reflection we see just doesn't "measure up".
"For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers." 1 Tim 4:10
It isn't enough to stop striving. We aren't built that way. We must store our treasure somewhere. If we don't have an ultimate goal we will default to the temporary fixes that our world tells us are a must for happiness and fulfillment.
So what is the solution to this "vanity and striving"? It isn't saying "I am enough as I am". Because we aren't.
"Not that I have already attained this—that is, I have not already been perfected—but I strive to lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus also laid hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have attained this. Instead I am single-minded: Forgetting the things that are behind and reaching out for the things that are ahead, with this goal in mind, I strive toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:12-14
If we set our minds on God (His Word, His truth), the other things fall into their proper places. We see people with eyes of love. We see ourselves as God sees us. And then we slowly start to see ourselves less and less as HE becomes the goal of our striving. Because when God... His heart... His glory... is what we pursue, we will never be chasing wind, because He has already met us in our strivings; loved us, saved us, embraced us. He invites us to put down our burdens of the opinions of others or finding our value in our looks/accomplishments or trying to do it all. He tells us to sit at His feet and find the better thing. Following Christ then becomes a lot less like striving as we see it, an exhausting competition, and a lot more like rest.
Because He has already accomplished the work, chased us down in our wanderings, and won our hearts, we can pursue Him with joy and peace, and with NEVER a doubt of our value because He loved us first.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

just as i am




  1. Just as I am, without one plea,
    But that Thy blood was shed for me,
    And that Thou bidst me come to Thee,
    O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
  2. Just as I am, and waiting not
    To rid my soul of one dark blot,
    To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot,
    O Lamb of God, I come, I come.



Monday, February 12, 2018

instagram...




Once upon a time, a twenty year old bought this tunic a week after finding out she was pregnant with her first child. It was the dead of steaming hot summer, but she knew it would be perfect for the cold months when her bump would be very visible. One week later she gave up her baby to heaven.


About two years later she would have worn this top with her second pregnancy more often, but the timing just wasn't right seasonally. She welcomed her rainbow baby and prayed for at least one more child.


Two years later, she threw on this tunic for church, caught her reflection which showed the story of yet another life beginning and she cried. She cried because she will never not miss her first child. She cried because her two year old is perfectly, blissfully sleeping behind her. She cried for thankfulness as her hand instinctively touched her growing middle. She cried for the pain and beauty of her journey so far. She cried because God is gracious and answers prayer from the deepest corners of the heart.


<3

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

the next step





"Today is a good day for a good day."
Spent the night in vivid dreams of being pregnant again. The best dreams are the hardest to wake from. My doctors appointment to start the journey of hopefully discovering why it is hard for us to have babies is one week away. Last time we scheduled this kind of appointment I got pregnant before I had to go. That didn't happen this time. It's frustrating. It's scary. It hurts to keep hoping that doctors and tests won't be our reality. It's hard when you have a list of beautiful baby names you might not get to use. But today (as I sniffle through the hard that is allergies) the birds are chirping and Rennie is here and tonight is date night and I am beloved. Even with all the ick surrounding it, this is a day made by God. It is worth enjoying.❤








~ my instagram six days ago

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

family pictures... and musings from a wife and mommy




"The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling."  ~ Fabienne Fredrickson


I have always wanted to be a wife and mommy.  I went through my stint of wanting to be a famous singer or author.  I mulled around different career ideas occasionally.  But nothing stuck.  Nothing matched the desire in my heart to love a godly man and raise a passel of children.

The first half of my dream came very easily.  I met Andrew when I was seventeen.  He was the first and only man with whom I had a romantic relationship.  We were married less than a month after my nineteenth birthday.  At twenty-four I am very well-adjusted to sharing my heart, home, and life with him.  We've definitely got that "old married couple" thing going.  Honestly, it hasn't always been easy getting married so young, but God has been faithful to grow us.


Sunday, June 18, 2017




Sometimes I can feel like a dandelion whose seeds have been blown to smithereens and left a plain, strange stem.  Not much to offer.  Nothing special.  But today my daughter picked several of them, dubbing them flowers like the rest, to present to loved ones.  How marvelous that it just takes eyes of love for something small and ugly to become valuable and beautiful.  Jesus loves me (and all of us) just that much.  He sees our hearts of sin and extends His grace.  He presents us before God, a treasure.  But He also takes it a step further by pulsing new life into us so we can grow and thrive and LIVE.  He makes an army from dry bones and beauty from dying weeds.

--- my instagram

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

desert rain



I am surrounded by mountain and valleys... stretching, climbing landscapes that capture the attention *and heart* every day.
But the most beautiful thing I have experienced here is the rain.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

tomorrow...

In the car heading to church last Sunday

Sunday.
Take it slow and give your soul a change to catch up with your body.
  

Friday, April 18, 2014

love lifted me



"All we like sheep have gone astray
We've turned, every one, to his own way

And God laid all of our iniquity on Him.


Friday, February 22, 2013

Friday Favorites {No. 22} Love, Snow, and Worship


  
Wow!!!  SO much has happened since my last post!  I've included a couple of "Valentine's Day" pictures and lots of pictures from the Teen Retreat I went to last Friday through Monday.

My amazing husband really treated me well for Valentine's Day!  In return, I baked a couple dozen of Andrew's favorite oatmeal raisen cookies and made him a card.  :-)  How fun!

Friday, October 5, 2012

O Lord...


... You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

life lessons



I'm learning so much about life...

that it is not always perfect hair and makeup, a dreamy look in the eyes, the perfect kiss, mouth-watering food, hot coffee, and pleasant and profound words...

that sometimes it is frizzy bedhead and worry lines, weary eyes, missed moments, not knowing what to make for dinner, the coffee getting cold again, and nothing much to say...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I Remember You...

I remember You,
Precious Jesus,
I remember You.
Healer of our hearts.
Lover of our souls.


The words of a song have been playing through my head all day.  Yesterday too.

A simple tune...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sunshine and Raindrops

The weather outside my window mirrors my soul.

Sunlight streams down from the broad heavens... so radient.

Rain tumbles down softly from the sky as well... so unexpected.

Incredible to stand in the bright glow of the sun
and feel rain gently splashing again my skin.

Monday, August 29, 2011

In a Dry and Weary Land...

It has been a hard day.

Very. Hard.

It started with not being able to get the warm, refeshing shower that is part of my daily routine.

Then I fell down the stairs.  And I hurt all over now; stiff neck, bruised arm.  I banged up my healing finger... and can no longer bend it the way I could without a lot of pain... something I'd worked hard at getting through and now I have to start over.

Monday, August 1, 2011

What I am Not...

I am not practical all of the time.
But I'm definitely not ditsy.

I'm not an animal lover.
But I'm not willing to let animals be mistreated.

I'm not antisocial.
But I'm not an extrovert either.

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Valley of Vision

I was inspired by this prayer.  Oh to have this surrender to God in the valleys of my life.  I hope you will take a moment to read this...  it is beautiful.


"Lord,
High and Holy,
Meek and Lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the
Valley of Vision,
Where I live in the Depths
But see Thee in the
Heights;
Hemmed in by
Mountains of Sin
I behold Thy glory.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

He Is Risen!


Low in the grave He lay,
Jesus my Savior,
Waiting the coming day,
Jesus my Lord.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Last Night...

He was wounded for
Our
Transgressions...

He was bruised for
Our
Iniquities...

All our punishment was upon
Him...

And by His stripes...
We...
Are Healed.