Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Guest posting!

Hello, lovely readers!

I realize how little I've been blogging recently, but between fatigue and constant nausea (yes, pregnancy seems to be going well!) I just haven't had the brain-power.
I am, however, being featured in a blog post as a guest writer sharing answers to some Godly Beauty questions (which, thankfully, I was able to write before morning-noon-and-night sickness set in).

If you'd like, take a moment to read this and also explore Nela's blog, "Beloved Star"!

<3

Friday, January 9, 2015

miracles forming


My hubby and I have been on such a journey, my friends, as we've endeavored to start our family. We prayed, we waited fourteen months, God answered, and then we suffered loss.
 We mourned, we prayed, and we hoped. We waited.
We discovered, we cried, and we prayed more.
 And we waited.
 We waited sixteen more months and by then it hurt too much to hope.

 And then, on Christmas day, we received a miracle.
.


God willing, Baby Janson will be joining us the first week of September!!!!
  God is amazing. 
 He hears. 
 He fulfills and He gives hope.


Today I am 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
 This is the day I knew I was losing my first baby. My world fell apart in one moment and it brought out a side of me that I'd always known existed, but was afraid to meet. She felt dead and helpless and hopeless. And she has stayed with me ever since that day.
God has been so gracious as He continues to work on her, love her, and revive her. And He is teaching her... teaching me... that He is good.

And I am so thankful...

~ thankful that this pregnancy feels different, for a queasy stomach these last few mornings that I never experienced last time
~ thankful for a doctor's appointment that will tell me more once blood-work comes back (they sucked me dry... seven vials and my vein was hardly giving anything during the last one)
~ thankful for the words of the doctor: "We ran another pregnancy test on you. It can take up to several minutes to get a result, but the nurse came out of the room almost as soon as she went in saying, 'Yep, she's definitely pregnant!'!"
~ thankful for the extra prayer-cover we have this time... for all of your incredible hearts who are lifting my beautiful baby before God's throne
~ thankful for the tears... because they mean I am alive! And where there is life, there is hope.


It still hurts and I am still scared... but God is good and He holds my child, knitting it together in a wonderful way. And He is forming me as well, through the excitement, the doubt, the victories, and the backslides. He is faithful and I am thankful. 


Would you please join us these next months in praying for the health and safety of our baby?  That it would stay strong and that my body would support this precious life?

I am so thankful for the beautiful prayers and support you, my dear readers, have gifted me in the years I've been writing here.  Your comments are priceless and I so enjoy being a small part of your lives.  I apologize that I have been so lax in updates, but as you now know, life has me a tad preoccupied.  ;-)

Much love and many blessings to you all!!!

<3


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

grace for the day


Oh dear, so much time has flown since I last sat down to share my life on this blog (sorry Dad!).  Life has been full in this last month.  Very crammed-full.  
We have moved again, this time down the street and around a corner into our new home.  We will be here for at least a year, though we hope for more this time.  It is our fourth house in two and a half years of marriage and we are ready to settle down for a bit.  I love this new place so far... feel-of-the-place-wise it just might be my favorite.  I will definitely share photos as I make it feel like "ours".
Also this last month, Andrew and I survived a car crash.  Our car and the other car involved were completely destroyed, but no one was seriously injured.  The police were astounded that there weren't any broken bones or even a fatality... I know God was protecting us all.  I sustained the worst injuries out of the group, having smacked my head into the fold-down mirror and then into the dashboard, smashed my shin into the glovebox, and sprained my wrist somehow.  This was all a few weeks ago and I am recovering well.  My wrist and leg still give me some trouble, but I'm thankful that it wasn't worse.  Now we are waiting for insurance to help us get a new car since the other driver admitted fault (so thankful that the truth was told).
And lastly, Andrew's job has been... difficult.  There will probably be more news on that in a later post.

Nuff said about the hard stuff though...


We have a Christmas tree!  Our new place has instantly felt more homey (or as Andrew says, "homely"... to which I then remind him how that word means something completely different) since setting it up and decorating.  I love my trees to be simple, elegant, and glowing (with a little sparkle).

And do you see the mountains behind it???  The view from my living room picture-window in stunning!



This last Saturday Andrew took me on a spur-of-the-moment outing.  All he said was that the mist was blanketing the nearby mountains and did I want to walk amoungst the clouds?
Um, yes dear!


After only a few minutes of driving our world changed from overcast desert to misty mountains (yes I hummed the song... several times) to enchanted winterland!  My husband really knows how to make me happy.



I have been missing snow so much (I hadn't experienced any yet since being in Utah).  This was the perfect date!  Little bits of white were still falling and we were the only people there.




<3



Sunday morning Andrew and I walked out our front door to be greeted by this.  I continue to be astounded by the mountains, how their beauty changes with each day.


And here was yesterday's view from my couch.  So incredible.

Yes, my friends, this month has been full.  It has had some really, really rough moments... but there has been beauty too.  Even though my heart can feel so dark, God continues to pour out grace each day, even if it is just the ability to breathe.  My heart still longs for my family across the country (being apart from the people you love hurts), I ache to start a family of my own or to even be able to see a doctor who could maybe help me (lots of factors are really stunting us in that area... we want to get things started but it just can't happen yet), I strongly desire a job for my husband that doesn't take advantage of him or exhaust and stress him... but God continues to bring us through each day and even lavishes beautiful moments when we are truly, purely happy.  I know that is what it ultimately comes to: no matter how your world shifts, God remains good.

Much love, sweet readers.

<3


(PS.  Happy 5th Birthday to my youngest sister, Rebekah (Bekah) Ann!  I love you so much, little duck!  You are my favorite Bekah in the world; you are smart, beautiful, and loving.  I'm so proud of you and miss you like crazy!  Love you, again and again, forever and ever!)