Monday, July 23, 2012


Hard days.
They do come.
Even when you're living happily ever after.

Yesterday I sat, surrounded by people, feeling very alone.
As I gazed over the small beach and lake, I could hardly keep from crying.
There are just times when your soul feels tired.

The tears did come later in the car as my sweet husband listened to my struggles.

"Days like today make me realize how much I don't belong here."

"What do you mean?"

"I guess it makes me thankful that we have heaven.  I'm so glad life doesn't end here."
I'm so thankful for this life the Lord has given me.
SO thankful.
But... perhaps you also know how it feels to really look forward to heaven.
Today I spoke with a lady that I love dearly who has been going through struggles of her own.
"Heaven will be so wonderful.  He will wipe away all of these tears...  HE will be all we need and we will truly see that."
Learning that my Savior, Jesus Christ, is enough is a life-long journey.
I'm so grateful that He has shown me how fulfilling He is...
and continues to show me when I forget.
Praying with my husband tonight, I asked God to help us to make Him more in our lives.  We've been so busy and tired and trying to figure this whole "marriage thing" out... and we've forgotten.
Over and over I've forgotten.
"Lord, help me to spend time with you every single day.  Give me the strength to make the time.  Make it so much a part of my life that I couldn't survive without it."
Whether its time in prayer, reading His word, singing His praises...
I truly do want to know Him more.
To see more of Him as I journey on this earth.
Simply because I love Him.
Need Him.
Because there are hard days and times when my sould feels tired and I long for heaven.
Remaining thankful, full of praise, will only come when HE is filling me.
And then I can truly be looking forward to heaven.
Not just to escape how painful this world can be... but because I simply cannot wait to behold the One who loved me so much that He died so I could be there with Him.
"So when the walls come falling
down on me,
And when I'm lost in the current
of a raging sea,
I have this blessed assurance
holding me:
All I know is I'm not home yet;
This is not where I belong!
Take this world and give me Jesus;
This is not where I belong!"
"When we all get to heaven
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus
We'll sing and shout the victory!"
Doesn't it turn your pain into praise at the mere thought of eternity with the Lord?
It truly makes this sojourn worth it.
God bless!


Ashley@ Stay-At-Home Daughter said...

I needed this tonight.... Thank you.

Rebecca Ann said...

Thank you so so much rachel for posting this! I felt like this life is hard and right now I am struggling and I can't wait for heaven. But at the same time I am pressing onward towards Christ, trying to glorify Him even in lonliness and struggle. Thank you for the reminder to go to Him and not others things for our help!

Oh and congratulations on you and your husbands marriage. I have been reading your blog for a while, but never got around to commenting till now. God bless!

In Christ,

Natasha Atkerson said...

I'm sorry your having a hard time right now!

I've been struggling lately too, frustrated with life in general. But in the midst of all that, I forgot God. I just left Him behind, even though I was complaining to Him. Then I realized I'd completely left Him in my dust, but really all I needed to do was call Him-an He's there. I've been realizing that life gets harder when I forget that it's not about me-it's about Him and His plan. When I become selfish and grumpy, it's because I've been focusing too much on myself.

Thanks for this post and for sharing your struggles with us.
I LOVE that song, we just sang it in church on Sunday actually! A great reminder that life on Earth isn't our end goal, life with Christ is.
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Blythe said...

Alyssa Faith said...

Amen, amen! I have been thinking of the same things recently - as we grow up, and learn to love more deeply, our realization of life's sorrows deepens also. I have felt often depressed and sorrowful lately, longing for heaven, and attributed much of it to the fact that my dear husband of four months is far away from me in a military camp and won't be home again for 7 months. Yet you, whose husband is near you, are facing the same feelings of sadness. Proof that true joy does not come from circumstances but from the love of God shed abroad in our hearts. The hope set before us - which can never be taken from us! - is the only thing that can sustain our hearts in life's sorrows. Thank you for helping me to remember the joy of the Lord, dear sister!

Alyssa Faith said...

Oh, and I just saw in your About Me - your wedding date - May 19th! My husband and I were to be married on that very day, but then he was called up for Army deployment, so we had an early little house wedding on March 8th before he left two weeks later. But we two couples almost shared anniversaries. Congratulations! :) :)

Jedidja said...

Thank you!