the last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster.
as Andrew and I look to the future, we are faced with beautiful opportunities but also large bumps that bring plans to a screeching halt.
it is so easy for me to be discouraged. if fact, this day, i am rather discouraged.
picking yourself up when all thoughts are sadness is a challenge. part of me doesn't even want to write this post because i don't want to come across as stronger than i actually am as i spout off "spiritual" words. all i know right now is that i *do* have reason for joy... and there will be moments i forget but also ones where they will keep me going even in times of hopes delayed. writing here is a sort of therapy for me as i work through jumbled emotions and thoughts. so, here it goes.
first of all, i have an amazing God. i know that i constantly forget just how amazing.
i have a husband and extended family who love me. and a baby girl who thinks i am everything good in the universe! ;-)
i have friends who pray. i may not be able to see them much but i am so thankful for their care through bringing me before the Lord.
i have a future. depression and anxiety tell me that it's all over... but hope tells me the best is yet to come.
Easter is coming... and i want to be reminded of the power of my Jesus. He rose from the dead. He is greater than a hard job, isolation, or our truck breaking down (yes, that happened this last week and we are, once again, in the market for a new vehicle).
those things seem so small when i think of the almighty Master who shelters me with His love and sings over me with grace.
|newly arranged living room.|
days like today i feel too weak to lift my faith-shield for battle.
i'm more in the mood for a netflix marathon and
a gallon of ice cream.
God is so good to give me a wise daddy for tear-filled phone calls who encourages me to not let Satan debunk my dreams... to instead stand up like Captain America: "I can do this all day". yes, that is the mental picture my wonderful dad gave me! he is awesome.
God also gave me a beautiful daughter who goes through the long days with me, cheering me with her smiles and babble. one of her favorite things is to grab my face and pull me in for kisses right when i need them the most.
and God gave me Andrew... the man who lets me pour out my heart in frustration and then opens his arms to hold me. <3
this last week has been hard. today has not been easy so far.
but joy is worth the fight. and God is greater than *fill in the blank*.