Monday, August 19, 2013

Modestly Monday {No. 45} moment by moment

Pink T-shirt Blouse-- Thrifted
Gray Cami-- Walmart
Gray and White Maxi Skirt-- Thrifted
Pink Flower Flip-flops-- Thrifted
Wood Bead Necklace-- Walmart

 First, about this outfit... :-) 

My Mom thrifted this gray skirt for me months ago... I fixed the length and then never wore it for some reason.  Then one day (after cleaning out my closet!) I saw it and wondered, "Why on earth have I never worn this?".  I paired it with a darker gray cami and light pink over-sized shirt (that I tied off to the side so I didn't look like a hot-air balloon).

I thrifted these flip-flops last summer and (again!) never wore them... Seriously, I highly recommend a closet revamp to all of you, ladies!  It does wonders!

 Looking through these outfit pictures (and the outfits for the next two weeks after this as well) is so bitter-sweet.  They were taken when I was still pregnant and preparing for future weeks when morning sickness might have kept me from wanting to pose for the camera.  It is hard to look at them and post them; I miss my baby so much.  But it also seems right to share them; that I had these outfit posts ready simply means I have that many more pictures of me with my baby and oh how I loved the time that Promise was inside of me.  There is a part of me that hates doing one of my regular weekly posts after such a life-altering event in my life... and another part of me that screams for normalcy.

Life right now is just going through each moment, one at a time.  I am able to laugh, hug and kiss my wonderful husband, play games with my family, watch movies, read books, goof off... and then there are times when it is just hard, when I cry at the slightest thing that reminds me of my precious baby and the hurt cuts so deeply into my soul.

Yes, it is so bitter-sweet.

I am very musically-minded, so much of my comfort has come through music during this last week (hard to believe it has been a week...).  Friends have shared songs with me and I've found myself singing songs I've known all of my life that have a new meaning to me now.

There have also been many quotes that have spoken to me strongly.  The written word is also a powerful way of speaking to me... probably more than talking.  That is probably because the way I grieve is to want to be around as few people as possible and then, when I do force myself to be around others, I prefer to not talk about the sad things in my life for very long (unless they really know how to communicate with me and there's none of that "It'll all be okay" stuff).  So, I want to end this post with some of the quotes that have helped me a lot... words of my own are hard right now.

"Saying someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse is like saying someone can't be happy because someone else may have it better." 
~ Unknown

"Believe that with the trial sufficient grace will come." 
~ Charles Spurgeon

"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny..." 
 ~ C. S. Lewis

"When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off.  You sit still and trust the Engineer." 
~ Corrie Ten Boom

"I have made you.  I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." 
~ Isaiah 46:4b

"I believe in Christ, like I believe in the sun - not because I can see it, but because by it I can see everything else." 
~ C. S. Lewis

 "I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages."
~ Charles Spurgeon

"Outside of the will of God, there is nothing I want.  And in the will of God there is nothing I fear." 
~ A. W. Tozer

Thank you for all of your prayers.  I don't know what this next week is going to be like for me and your prayers are such an encouragement.

God bless!


Annie said...

Rachel, I just wanted to say that my heart aches for you and Andrew. I can't imagine what you're going through, yet it's such a blessing to me to see how you are turning to the Lord for comfort in this time. Thanks for sharing those quotes. Praying for you both!

P.S. Love this outfit -- you are beautiful!

Sarah Rega said...

Y'all are continually in my prayers!

And I too, love the outfit. =) Very sweet and comfy looking. =)

Rebecca Ann said...

Rachel its just breath taking and so amazing how you and Andrew are trusting God through this. Thank you for being so down to earth and sharing about your struggles and how God is getting you through.

Love in Christ,