Friday, July 29, 2016

renniebird... eleven months

she likes to touch my lips while i kiss her  <3

At eleven months, Serenity:

Walks everywhere and gets into everything!
Weighs 27 1/2 pounds
Wears 24 month and 2T clothing (and size 4 diapers)
Dances to music
Claps during pat-a-cake and points at her palm to "mark it with a B"
Loves hugs and snuggles
Enjoys books (being read to and also "reading" to herself!)
Likes cheese, loves eggs, and hates oatmeal
Has nine teeth *wowsers*
Hugs her stuffed animals!
Stomps her feet when she's angry
Says "mama" when she needs to be held and "dada" when she's super excited

Loves peekaboo

How has it been almost a year already since the Lord blessed me through the birth of this sweet girl?  Through the other struggles Andrew and I have faced in the last eleven months, she has been a shining reminder of God's grace and love.
I have been learning so much from becoming a mother.  I am learning that my physical self, my shell, is not *who* I am, it is merely an accessory.  It is a gift meant to be used... a means to give life, to demonstrate love, and to serve the Lord.  I am learning my imperfections... my breaking points... my need for grace, for help, for others.  I am learning that I can't please everyone... and that I don't need too.  God sees my heart (including my failures) and He is the One to whom I answer.  He sees my love for the family He has graciously given me.  He sees my insecurities about the many changes I have gone through (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually).  He sees my desires.  He sees my exhaustion.  He sees my wrongs.  And He continues to tenderly love me.
I think that has been one of the biggest lessons I have been learning since holding this baby girl in my arms for the first time: what true love looks like.  Not human love, but rather the perfect love of Christ.  I have been given a *glimpse* of His unconditional, self-sacrificing love for me.  It is a flawed glimpse, but one nonetheless.  If I, as a sinful human being, can instantly feel this sort of strong love for another sinful human... how deep must God's love be for me?  And how thankful am I to be His child?

I am so grateful for the readers here who have continued on this journey with me.  My blog has gone through quite the metamorphosis since I started it as a sixteen-year-old single girl.  It has gone through the devo phase (back when I had time to sit and just write), the random phase (as life became busier with a courtship/engagement), the young marriage phase, the fashion phase (again, when I had time to put together tons of different outfits on a daily basis! *wink*), the loss and infertility phase, the moving phase, and most recently the new mommy phase (with the struggles of loneliness, battles with depression, and amazing joys of motherhood all thrown in!).  I see this blog now as, more than anything, my journal.  It reflects my life.  Nothing is forced.  If life has been no time for anything except some pictures and a random quote/verse I love, then that is what I share.  If life has been reflections, that is what you'll find.  If life has been hard, I don't lie about it.  I have one of those nondescript blogs that you either love or you don't.  I hope me being real is a blessing.  I hope I don't show perfection, but rather what is true.

Now, lovely people, if you'll excuse me, I have a child trying to climb the desk who needs my attention.


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