As I'm sitting here on my couch this overcast Friday evening, olive oil treatment soaking into my hair before my lazy-late-day shower, my thoughts are buzzing. Trying to find my place... wondering for the future.
So many opinions from so many places; some helping, others only sending me into a new, whirling void.
You see, I am not a positive person by nature.
I am a worst-case-scenario type with hands frightened to grasp anything too tightly for fear of being broken when it leaves, because it surely will. I am the girl who smiles back tears and wishes for a simple life with flower-crowns, dirt trails in the forests, and laugh-till-you-cry friendships.
It is so easy to get lost--- especially from yourself.
But I am tugging at the happiness; not allowing it to leave me choking in the dust.
Because I am called to joy. And, under the muddy layers, there are so many small and beautiful things that continue to bring joy to my growing heart.
These are my happy thoughts today:
spring roses --- they are everywhere!!! They are even blooming outside of my house in all beautiful colors. Their scent is intoxicating, especially during night-drives.
my sweet house --- it is feeling more like a home each day. I am still on medication to help with my nausea (nothing worth having is easy, I suppose), but I have been able to get so much decorating done at a leisurely pace.
ticking clocks --- I don't know why... the sound is so soothing to me! It might drive others crazy, but I have several noisy clocks in my house so that I can hear them wherever I am.
magic --- literally. I got the chance to watch "Cinderella" last week and was utterly enchanted. Besides the retelling of that story in the film "Ever After", I've never cared for it much... till now. I was swept away into a beautiful world of flowing dresses, adorable critters, and sweet singing... truly lovely. You should go see it.
hot coffee in the afternoon --- nuff said.
porcelain birds --- yes, I love to collect little bird figurines for random places in my house. There's something so cheery and peaceful about them. Foxes and owls are also favorites. :-)
late-night burgers and movies --- oh, last night was wondrous. Andrew and I decided last-minute to go out for burgers and a showing of "Avengers: Age of Ultron". I love films that appeal to both of us. I haven't seen Andrew laugh so hard in quite a while at something in a film. I've heard many different opinions on the movie, good and bad, but I loved it. Can't stop me! The characters/actors are just so brilliant and the little snippets of comedy are amazingly funny. Yay for movies that don't leave me disappointed (aka, The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies... so saddened by that one).
kicks --- my sweet baby girl has startled me on several occasions with the strength of her kicks this last week! She is most active in the afternoon, but even as I type this I can feel her squirming around. My latest midwife appointment went very well and we discovered that I am measuring two weeks ahead. So, either she'll be a chunker (which is fine!) or she might not wait around for her due date (also fine!). I can hardly believe it is only eighteen weeks till my due date!!! Even though she'll be sleeping in our bedroom, we are also putting together a little nursery for her in a spare bedroom. That has been very fun so far!! Also having so much fun pinning little girl lovelies for inspiration on pinterest (check out Serenity's board here!).
my soul strengthening --- even with the conflict and struggling, I am thankful for the people God has placed in my life, far away as they may be, who are soul-strengtheners. God has also used my wonderful husband so beautifully as my best friend of all. Andrew's patience and passionate love continue to astound me. And it's MAY, my friends! This month I will have been married to this epic man for three years! It is so amazing how God has knit our heart together so quickly. I don't always care for the methods He uses to strengthen us, but I am so thankful for the result. Nothing is ever wasted when held in the Lord's hands.
What are your happy thoughts?