Monday, September 4, 2017

seventh blogiversary!

paisley kimono ~ ross, black tshirt and jean shorts ~ walmart
bird nest necklace ~ handmade by me

Yes, I did have to look up how to spell "blogiversary".  ;-)

How has it been seven years since I clicked "publish" on my first post for this blog?  It wasn't my first time sharing thoughts on the internet (I blogged all through highschool), but it was the first time putting myself out there apart from my little homeschool writing community as a young adult.  I was seventeen.  I had graduated highschool four-ish months prior, was living in my parents' home, and had recently met a fascinating young man (who, unbeknownst to me would become my husband).  I had lived in a tiny town in rural Indiana for less than nine months and was still adjusting to life there.  I had recently wrapped up my first experience directing skits at my church and was serving full-time on our worship team.  I loved crafts and reading and movies and long walks.  I was still struggling with whole "body image" thing.  I liked my makeup and hairstyles and cute clothes.  My heart had been bruised from friendships broken and little inklings of struggles with anxiety had appeared.  I was obsessed with renaissance attire and everything vintage.  I was addicted to coffee.

Seven years later and some of those things haven't changed.  I still love long walks and reading and coffee (and the occasional craft).  I adore music and am once again living in the same tiny Indiana town.  Anxiety hasn't left.
Many things HAVE changed.  I'm now five years married to and very much in love with that fascinating young man.  I've given up one baby to heaven.  I've spent almost three years living in Utah.  I'm the mother of a two-year-old.  Makeup is mostly a thing of the past (mascara on Sundays is about the extent of our relationship now).  I've chopped my hair off and am currently growing it out again.  My cute clothes are only beloved if they are also practical.  I've lived with both Andrew's and my parents twice while married and in four different rentals (hoping to stay put for a while now!).  I'm becoming minimal-ish (rather than a strict minimalist because labels are so restricting!).  My brown hair is speckled with white strands.  I've never been more confident in my own skin.  I've discovered my imagined life with twelve children probably isn't going to happen (only partially by choice).
No wonder this blog has morphed with the years.  I've cried harder than ever.  Laughed louder than "appropriate".  And loved deeper than I thought possible!

And one thing hasn't changed: my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is the reason I can look back on these seven years, though tainted with so much crazy-hard, with joy.  As worries about the future bombard me I can breathe deep grace.  And when that breath doesn't come so easily I can collapse into arms that never fail and always love.  Because God loved me, despite my ugly sin, and sent His Son to die for me and rise from the grave, I have so much hope.

"The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no, never, no never forsake!"

(Excerpt from hymn "How Firm a Foundation")

Happy Seven Years, dear readers!!!


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