Sunday, May 8, 2016

*happy* mother's day

thank you, Andrew, for taking these pictures!!  i love you!
thank you, Rennie, for posing with mommy even though all you wanted was a nap! (hence her pouty face!)

2013 my heart was heavy this day.  We had been trying for almost a year to get pregnant with no success.  I bravely smiled through the Sunday service and hoped that next year would be different.

2014 the tears were impossible to hold back.  My baby's due date had recently passed and my arms were still empty.  God held baby Promise safe in eternity while my husband held me and told me "our time will come".  My dad gave me flowers at church along with all of the other mothers.  

2015 I was all nerves and excitement and fear.  I could feel a tiny girl kicking and squirming inside of me.  Healing was coming.  Wounds were closing.  

This year... this year there is joy.  And thankfulness.  And humility.
I am so undeserving of my sweet daughter.
Serenity is a gift beyond my dreams and a balm to my soul.  Scars remain, as does the ache to hold my first child in heaven one day, but today all of the hurt is overwhelmed by my full-to-bursting mommy's heart.
Today I wear the necklace I chose nearly three years ago in remembrance of Promise.  
Today I snuggle my babbling, ornery, growing, precious girl.  
Today I see the blessedness through all of the struggles and weariness.
Today I say a prayer for the friends who are still waiting for their healing.
Today I thank God for His faithfulness.

Happy Mother's Day!!


1 comment:

Dani Jeanne said...

Happy (belated) mother's day to you! God is good and faithful.

Dani xoxo
a vapor in the wind