letting go and embracing

the next step

"Today is a good day for a good day."
Spent the night in vivid dreams of being pregnant again. The best dreams are the hardest to wake from. My doctors appointment to start the journey of hopefully discovering why it is hard for us to have babies is one week away. Last time we scheduled this kind of appointment I got pregnant before I had to go. That didn't happen this time. It's frustrating. It's scary. It hurts to keep hoping that doctors and tests won't be our reality. It's hard when you have a list of beautiful baby names you might not get to use. But today (as I sniffle through the hard that is allergies) the birds are chirping and Rennie is here and tonight is date night and I am beloved. Even with all the ick surrounding it, this is a day made by God. It is worth enjoying.❤

~ my instagram six days ago

family pictures... and musings from a wife and mommy

"The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling."  ~ Fabienne Fredrickson


I have always wanted to be a wife and mommy.  I went through my stint of wanting to be a famous singer or author.  I mulled around different career ideas occasionally.  But nothing stuck.  Nothing matched the desire in my heart to love a godly man and raise a passel of children.

The first half of my dream came very easily.  I met Andrew when I was seventeen.  He was the first and only man with whom I had a romantic relationship.  We were married less than a month after my nineteenth birthday.  At twenty-four I am very well-adjusted to sharing my heart, home, and life with him.  We've definitely got that "old married couple" thing going.  Honestly, it hasn't always been easy getting married so young, but God has been faithful to grow us.

seventh blogiversary!

Sometimes I can feel like a dandelion whose seeds have been blown to smithereens and left a plain, strange stem.  Not much to offer.  Nothing special.  But today my daughter picked several of them, dubbing them flowers like the rest, to present to loved ones.  How marvelous that it just takes eyes of love for something small and ugly to become valuable and beautiful.  Jesus loves me (and all of us) just that much.  He sees our hearts of sin and extends His grace.  He presents us before God, a treasure.  But He also takes it a step further by pulsing new life into us so we can grow and thrive and LIVE.  He makes an army from dry bones and beauty from dying weeds.

--- my instagram

renniebird... eleven months

*happy* mother's day

Two Years {anniversary photo shoot, part one}

 Today Andrew and I are celebrating two years of marriage.

Seriously, time is flying.

at age seven.

When I was seven

like her

we didn't have a digital camera.

My memory

is so full,

bursting with

pictures of the mind.

"Perhaps, after all...

romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare,

like a gay knight riding down;

perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways;

perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose,

until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages,

betrayed the rhythm and the music;

perhaps . . .

perhaps . . .

love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship,

 as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." 

— L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Avonlea)

Back to School

No, not me.

It seems a lot of people are getting back to school.

Ah, but not me.

Again!

But this year it effects me.

At least more than usual.

A Tale of Anygirl

In the state of Indiana, up to the north a bit, there is a small town.

In that small town there is a little church.

Inside that church is a white-washed room sporting three couches and a pool table.

Sitting on the couch, or sometimes watching the game of pool, there was once a girl.

When you mix trampolines, water, and "Blind Man"...

It was SO much fun.  Jessica, Natalie, Josh, Andrew, and I were jumping on our trampoline on Tuesday with the hose hooked up to one of the netting poles.  We were soaked and happy.  Then we decided to play "Blind Man"... you know, the game whicj is just like tag only the person who is "it" shuts their eyes and relies completely on sound???

Yeah, that game.

I still love it... but I have a bone to pick with whoever invented that game.

Literally.  A bone.  Namely, my left ring finger.  You know, the extra special finger where purity rings, engagement rings, and wedding bands go???

Don't panic.  I still have my finger.

Guess Who???

Hi there!

So, after long weeks of absence from my blog, I’ve returned!  You may wonder why it has been so extremely long since I’ve taken the time to write a post…  Well, it can’t be explained without telling many long stories that would only confuse you more.  J  So, I’ll just tell one story to give you A LOT of context for the last six months of my life… actually, much longer than that!

Walk with My Sisters

I love cameras.  I love taking pictures.  I love trying, failing, and trying again to capture the essence and beauty of the life around me.  And when I'm able to capture the beauty of a day, of a person, with a click of a camera...  my joy mounts to a level only another photographer can understand.  :-)

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  Chilly later on, but beautiful.  My sisters, Dad, and I had lunch together at our town's Senior Center.  I want to be like the elderly people that come there when I'm ninety!  They are amazing.  One man, Raymond, is ninety-eight and still can get cocky while playing cards with the other seniors.  The comedy between these people is amazing too.  One conversation between two of them, Bettie and Russel (both probably in their late seventies/early eighties) went like this:

Thursday Morning



Bekah (16 months)... I could just squeeze her and kiss her and squeeze her...

Ohhhh...  this has been a good morning.  I have laughed a good deal and am very happy to be alive today!  :-)

I know, I know... I don't usually do random posts like this that are simply about my everyday life... but I guess this is just one of those rare times.

Oceans of Blessings

Little Beauties.

Blessings

He has

Given.

Everywhere, but untouched.

Obvious, yet unseen.

Screaming, still unheard.

~

Of Snow, Slush, and Vehicles...

This will be a quick post... kinda.  But I couldn't keep from sharing something that happened yesterday.

All was normal yesterday afternoon.  All was quiet... okay, perhaps that's not quite normal for us, but still...

The weather was beautifully warm.  No coats were needed in the outdoors.  The snow was silently disappearing into little puddles, then soaking down into the earth to make two of the things that adults hate with the passion: slush and mud.  Mom had gone out to get a few groceries for supper and everyone was inside after spending some time out of doors playing.

The peaceful calm was suddenly disrupted by Mother's voice ringing through the house.

Home again, home again...

My "dreary" part of the year is mid-January till mid-March.  So now I'm right in the middle of what is usually the dreariest part of the year.

But, notice, that I said usually.

This year has had NO dreary parts so far, which is great!!!  This month has been busy and will only be getting busier.  My latest adventure was a three-day-two-night vacation with my family to a place I've been going to since I was eight years old.

Practice, practice... and practice some more!

That has always been my philosophy with special music pieces: practice the song till you're one step away from hating it.  Thankfully, I've never gotten to the point of hating a piece because of practicing it too much... but, I've gotten close.  :-)  When I was still taking piano lessons, nothing would throw me off more than having to play at a recital after not getting enough practice time to feel fully prepared for the big performance.  My stomach would twist, my palms would sweat, and my heart would beat like a drum... even though the audience usually consisted of ten or so families who would never remember how well I played the songs!