thoughts from instagram

"A changing body is not a ruined body."

instagram...

Once upon a time, a twenty year old bought this tunic a week after finding out she was pregnant with her first child. It was the dead of steaming hot summer, but she knew it would be perfect for the cold months when her bump would be very visible. One week later she gave up her baby to heaven.


About two years later she would have worn this top with her second pregnancy more often, but the timing just wasn't right seasonally. She welcomed her rainbow baby and prayed for at least one more child.


Two years later, she threw on this tunic for church, caught her reflection which showed the story of yet another life beginning and she cried. She cried because she will never not miss her first child. She cried because her two year old is perfectly, blissfully sleeping behind her. She cried for thankfulness as her hand instinctively touched her growing middle. She cried for the pain and beauty of her journey so far. She cried because God is gracious and answers prayer from the deepest corners of the heart.


<3

halfway to holding you...

Dear HR,

Today I'm halfway to meeting you! And, as if to mark the occasion, you kicked my hand for the first time today!  It startled me and made me so excited.  I love you so much!!!   Just one more week till I can call you by name.  <3

~ journal exerpt

the next step

"Today is a good day for a good day."
Spent the night in vivid dreams of being pregnant again. The best dreams are the hardest to wake from. My doctors appointment to start the journey of hopefully discovering why it is hard for us to have babies is one week away. Last time we scheduled this kind of appointment I got pregnant before I had to go. That didn't happen this time. It's frustrating. It's scary. It hurts to keep hoping that doctors and tests won't be our reality. It's hard when you have a list of beautiful baby names you might not get to use. But today (as I sniffle through the hard that is allergies) the birds are chirping and Rennie is here and tonight is date night and I am beloved. Even with all the ick surrounding it, this is a day made by God. It is worth enjoying.❤

~ my instagram six days ago

autumn favorites

AUTUMN IS HERE!!!!!  It may not feel like it (we've had some unseasonably hot weather in Indiana this week), but it is calendar official!  This season is by faaaaaaaaar my favorite and I can't help but honor it with a post about the reasons why.


~  The colors!  I'm usually a fan of light grays, blues, and greens... but there is something so comforting about the colors of fall.

~  The decorations.  Again, though my home decor doesn't normally include items of orange, yellow, and red, this time of year is the exception.

~ Pumpkins!  Fake ones, real ones, drink ones, food ones...  ;-)  From sitting prettily on a front porch to blended in my coffee, pumpkins are a wonderful thing!

mamabird life {seventeen} and blog survey!

Mamabird life has been...

~ Little to no brain capacity for writing.  Hence my terrible lack of sharing here.  These pictures are from a family vacation we took a month ago.  Life hasn't slowed down since getting home.

~ Enjoying *some* cooler weather.  It was beautiful at our vacation spot in Wisconsin and the last couple weeks here in Indiana have been beautiful as well.  It's warming up a bit though... Go away, summer!

seventh blogiversary!

little house on the alley... loft

I can't possibly choose a favorite room in my house.  But if there is one in particular that makes a grin spread across my face, its our loft-style bedroom.  I love the original gabled ceilings, the big window, the cozy feel.  I chose the same airy cream paint from the living room for the walls, but included warmer colors for the decor to compliment the small, but so-very-sweet space.

mamabird life {fifteen}

It is almost mid-way through the last full month that I am the mommy of a one-year-old.  This second year with my sweet girl has gone faster than the first... maybe because I'm getting a bit more sleep now (still not full nights, but we'll get there).  I'm trying to lock away those memories that aren't being captured on camera... there are so many and I just want to hold onto them.  This motherhood thing ain't easy.  I've been pushed to my limits (and even beyond them to new limits some days).  My daughter is a strong-willed little person who doesn't respond to instruction so well... Reminds me of her parents a bit.  But this journey is also one I would never surrender for an easier me-centered existence.  Sure it would be nice to take a looooooong hot shower every day, but who needs clean hair?

So, here's some snippets of my mamabird life along with some of my favorite recent pictures... I will spare you the ones featuring my unwashed hair.  ;-)

on my instagram

I recently joined the world of Instagram and it has been such a nice, simple way to share snippets of my crazy life without consuming minutes (and hours, ahem) of my time like Facebook sometimes does.  These are some of the pictures I've recently shared along with some little updates.

mamabird life {twelve}

last week a chapter of our lives ended.

it was bittersweet.

last wednesday, rennie and i flew out to indiana.  with no return tickets.

it was a crazy three and a half months living with andrew's parents with quite a bit of adjusting for all.  it was so good though.  getting extra family time and watching rennie bond with her amazing grandparents was such a blessing!  i also got the chance to know my in-laws in a deeper way and will always cherish the time we spent together watching movies, playing games, and talking!!!  (and the wonderful-albeit-slightly-stressful driving lessons my dad-in-law gave me!)

mamabird life {ten}

dear...

new slippers,

you are perfect.  just the right size (11, thanks to my two pregnancies!).  just the right warmth.  just the right soft gray color.  you make me smile.

mamabird life {nine}

seeing...

piles and piles of bins!  our little home is almost entirely packed.  it's a good thing too, since our moving date has been changed to even closer!

plaid happy... outfit post

mamabird life {eight}

 seeing...  

 the faces of much-love-and-missed family!  even though they've all gone home now, the time we spent has given me such a jump-start as these next few crazy months begin!

mamabird life {seven}

renniebird... eleven months

mamabird life {six}

seeing...  

my baby turn into a toddler.  she is waddling all over the place and it is the sweetest thing!!!  she is also starting to try to climb on things, which is a little less thrilling.  *wink*

to the moon and back... outfit post