Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Don't You Want to Get Married?!!!
I can still remember the day I was asked that question by a confused woman when she realized I wasn't dating.
I had my sister call me an "Old Maid" the other day. Jokingly, if course. I know, I know... I AM one who has gone all through Jr. and Sr. Highschool without a boyfriend. I know I haven't even argued with my parents about wanting to date! I know I have saved my first kiss and intend to keep on saving it until my wedding day. I know I'm strange. I know I'm in the minority (a very teeny minority).
This is where the sarcastic side of me wants to ask: "And your point is... what?"
As I've gotten a bit older (and wiser, I hope at least somewhat! Okay, I'll just trust God's Word for the "wise" part), I've realized how extremely crusial it is for me to be guarding my heart. I'm a very sensitive, emotional person (believe it or not!). I'm also a hopeless romantic. I don't hear harp music whenever I see a handsome face, but I'm pretty close.
Well, as goofy as that seems, it can prove to be so dangerous. Emotions (which we all have, don't deny it!) are a strong part of a woman and, if we want to keep our hearts from being damaged, we have to be careful.
From a Young Age...
Just this last summer I had a purity talk with some girls at the camp I was counselling at. They listened attentively and many nodded their heads as I spoke. They were pretty young. You might even think they were too young to be talking about purity, but I would have to disagree. Just walk into the children's section of a clothes store and you'll see what I mean. It's not just teenagers that are taught to dress in ways that flaunt their bodies and use the beauty God gave them the wrong way. Girls are taught from a young age that they need to be prettier, skinnier, and have at least a dozen guys crazy about them. The girls in that room with me knew what I was talking about. Was I gentle? Of course. I didn't go into the terrifying talks that doctors put you through (don't even ask me about my first experience with a doctor as a young lady!). I read them a story that showed the importance of purity, in mind and heart as well as body, and then discussed it with them.
One girl asked me later in private if it was alright to think a guy was handsome or like him a little. I had to smile. I know how confusing purity can be! You know, the "how far is too far" question... My answer to the concerned young lady was that, no matter how hard you try, you're always gonna know when a guy is handsome! It's okay to think so. What defines whether you're striving for purity or not is what you do with that thought. If you like someone or think they're attractive, that's fine. God doesn't tell us to wack ourselves over the head every time we think someone is cute (I'm still a bit starry-eyed over Gregory Peck). But He does want us to take those thoughts captive and not allow them to grow into an unhealthy attachment or impure thinking.
So, I'm Not Little Anymore...
This is where trust comes in. Sometimes it feels like love and marriage are so far away, even when you're old enough for them to be a possiblity. Contentment is a challenge. It is NOT easy. But one thing I do know: God loves me, He knows my desires, and He has already written my story all the way to the end.
If someone was to ask me the same question I was asked by that sweet, confused lady, "Don't you want to get married?!", I still answer with a confident "Yes!". I want to get married and have a family. There's nothing I want more (except to glorify God with my life). But this time at home is something special too. God has a lot to teach me, whether I'm single or not! Keeping my heart safely guarded under my father's roof, not becoming infatuated with the idea of being in love, and not discounting this time of waiting are the three challenges I face daily. And, if you all are honest, it's something we all struggle with.
So, I would encourage you: if you're a single young woman still living at home... you're not alone! This can be the best of times and the worst of times. It's whatever we make it! The single years (even when you're in a relationship) is a precious time when we can develop our faith in God and learn to love Him more. We may be waiting, but never idly.
Final Thought... a bit of musing
My thoughts may be confused, muddled, frustrated.
But God sees my mind.
My life may be full of bumps in the road.
But God holds my hand.
My emotions may feel like boiling water, rolling and irratic.
But God calms the storms.
My heart may be a mess of turmoil and fear.
But God's perfect love...
Makes the impossible
Turns tears into
And casts away